August 18, 2013

20 Things P101 Pirates Say

Even though we pirates are built to fight for our answers, we can't help but ponder certain things...or at least speak impulsively...
20 Things P101 Pirates Say

1) Yumyumyumyumyum!
2) Excuse me, I'm obviously a heavy-built bulldog in a wig coming to converse with the queen even though I appear to be a short and slightly unclean pirate. Yes, I expect you to let me see her.
3) I'm not able to wrap wounds, but I'm sure this cute little brown birdie can...
4) So you're saying that, if I stand here and try to get on my ship, I'll end up floating next to the cliff over there?
5) What do you mean, the couch won't fit there?
6) Sweet! I'll kick some dirt into the clockwork's face after your armadillo headbutts it. That'll dismantle it, right?
7) Hey, your friend said to find the wingdingy-thingamajig in the doohickey-combobulator of this clockwork. He's your friend, you ought to know what any of that is supposed to mean. We should probably get it done before this ship falls to pieces.
8) Ooh, a piece of paper! It's a map piece, it's a...wait, that was a book page. Ooh, another piece of paper! (Is this just me?)
9) I'm sure that if I walk in the right direction and look in this weird angle, I should be able to make out what that open book has to say. does anyone read designer scribble?
10) YAR! YAR! YAR! YAR! YAR! (YAR!out to all ye messageboards pirates)
11) MISSING: A golden pair of wings, three piles of smelly bananas, and a hen with a hairdo. Reward: Minimal EXP and a training point
12) No, YOU go get it. You have a stick, so why not? I was taught to fight with a stick...
13) My friend, this is no ordinary umbrella. It's pointy and amplifies my slashy style of fighting.
14) Physics? What physics?
15) You have struck my armadillo down. This means war!
16) What do you mean, I'm in "red health"? I'm still fighting strong.
17) Engines? What engines?
18) What does Life Fountain water taste like? Can't they just...bottle it?
19) The epidemic from eating frog legs has only grown worse as our adventuring party continues into the further reaches of the haunted forest. I fear poisoning, but I fear the walking trees more.
20) How about food? Does anybody want food? How about sleep? Bathroom breaks?

What do you think? Did I miss any funny thoughts? Let me know in the comments below!

As always, Keep Traveling!



  1. I agree with the defeating of the pet. That does mean war. And yes, they should bottle life fountain water. Or maybe the mojo potions are the equivalent of that...

    I wear a monkey face and suddenly I'm a very tall monkey here for your connivence to reach the top bookshelf. Nothing wrong here, don't mind me.

    Your spare time is walking in ovals so I can time it perfectly to cross the beach and you'll never see me...

    You're making it a race to get to the Yum Yum fruit first? Challenge accepted.

  2. Very funny! I especially like "Physics? What physics?" Ha, ha!


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