Five Reasons to Love Cool Ranch

When I holler "It's back to Krokotopia with you!" what do you think?
How about, "Let's Presidio-farm with our level two swashbucklers!"

a.) You scream
b.) You fizzle out of shock
c.) You forget to steer your ship and you crash-land in the Gold Mine (oops!)
d.) You try to get answers out of Destiny (never!)

However you choose, I can tell you one thing: Cool Ranch is LONG! There are at least six skyways (correct me if I'm wrong), a LOT of ships, almost too much level variety in one area (you won't know when to avoid the stingtails until you can take them on easily), and a few galleons' worth of gold! However, no matter how long it is, there are a few things that you can absolutely love. Read on, mateys!

1.) Cool Ranch is UNIQUE! Like any other world, Cool Ranch has its fair share of water features, dark, scary places and caves, but there are key landscape features that set it apart from many places. Let's start with an obvious - the sandstone-pattern canyons! Though the cliff faces in Skull Island can be sort of similar, there's no beating the beautiful canyons in Cool Ranch. The rock that makes up the world, with shrubs sprouting through the cracks, is like no other. Especially with the sunset bouncing off of it, it's really easy to be distracted by the canyons. Next, there's Arroyo Grande, the one place in the Spiral where you can be UNDER the windlane, and not in a glitch! Arroyo Grande is accessible via Junction. This time, I'm going to let you investigate on your own - what have your adventures in Arroyo Grande presented you with?

2.) Cool Ranch is FULL OF SURPRISES! Sure, you loved the Yum Juicer in Gunn's Island, and you adored all those unexpected companions, didn't you? Cool Ranch is full of nice surprises! I'll start with one of the cutest - the Armadillo Verde! The Armadillo Verde is a highly sought after pet, dropped by many bosses throughout Cool Ranch. The Armadillo Verde used to have outstanding health and damage, sometimes ranging over mine, but it got nerfed after the PvP expansion. However, the Armadillo Verde has both Relentless and Riposte, which are very useful talents! Among the surprises are final bosses, secret locations (found by sidequest) and those satisfying a-ha moments! So far, I think Cool Ranch tops the a-ha factor so far.

3.) Oh, you know me - I love the MUSIC! As much as I loved the music from every world, the Cool Ranch music made me the most excited about the game. Specifically the Arroyo Grande (sailing), the Cool Ranch broadside theme and the Cooper's Roost (skyway) themes gave me the feeling making me want to climb to the top of Elder Bluff and yell "I AM A PIRATE!!". While different places remind me of different things (MQ hints at WS and WC, while I can't get over the same Dragonspyre music), the Cool Ranch music sort of blends different themes that I'm familiar with. The choir usage ties in to Dragonspyre, while the Junction theme has a Celestian innovative feel to it. Overall, the music of Cool Ranch gets five stars for feeling, three for originality, and somewhere around thirty (thousand) for emotion.

4.) NPC Dialogue is what makes me very excited in Cool Ranch! While almost nothing beats the Armada Clockwork's speech in Erebus, but a few of the confrontation scenes in Cool Ranch rank high. Whether you're saving Tonka or saving Santo Pollo, there's quite a bit to enjoy in the dialogue of Cool Ranch. One of my favorites is when any NPC speaks of El Toro, and a short bit of music goes off every time! I think it's a hilarious add-on that makes the game that much more enjoyable. However, I just saved Tonka from English Bill, the Duck of Death, and the opening line from the Free Ranger made me more excited to battle, "Let's see how you like a fair fight - try these silver bullets!" It made me wonder if there was something wrong with Bill, and there was - thankfully, my friend gave me the hint about the - heh, did you think I'd say THAT? No, no - find out on your own! It's a fun surprise!

5.) Stunning NPCs at all! Before you know the dialogue, you see the NPC! I must say, many of the NPCs in Cool Ranch are unique and wonderful. even though there are many chicken-based women, they all have their own styles and color patterns - no more of those non-varied Pokemon sprites that we loved so dearly! (The funniest thing about that is that I've never played any of the Pokemon handheld games...) A few prime examples of the stunning NPCs have to be Brother Wolf, Sister Snake, Brother Owl and THUNDERBIRD, whose name deserves the caps. Would the picture explain enough?

All in all, I think Cool Ranch takes it away for stun capabilities and satisfaction, at least so far. The only thing above it would maybe be the Fin Dorsal line of quests, the clockwork's speech taking the cake - but we're talking entire worlds of the same tension, of the same excitement! Cool Ranch for the win!

Keep Traveling!


P.S. If any of you celebrate Christmas, I wanted to wish you a warm and safe holiday. Contest results will be announced the day after.
P.P.S. Thank you AGAIN to Chris Drakeflame for all of the unexpected promotion, and to all the other people that I can't manage to find, who have been tweeting my posts! It's so nice of all of you. :)


  1. These are all great reasons why to love Cool Ranch even if it has bugs.Nice close up on your Armadillo Verde by the way.

    P.S. - I finished the game!Now I only need all the crown shop companions then I can start my Witchdoctor again!


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